I was attracted to this picture of a baby sleeping so peacefully in the bosom of someone whose face was not shown, it was an article in a magazine for christian women and wives. I remember that was the time I was trying to conceive for almost 2 years. Every month when menses came, it was like a miscarriage to me. This piece of sharing reminds me of my God, who is Sovereign, is very much involved in my trying-to-conceive.
Click onto the picture for a better view... I have taken time to type the sharing out here. May God bless your heart with Serene's sharing as much as it blesses mine.
* * By SERENE ALLISON - Primm Springs, Tennessee * *
I rushed inside leaving the groceries in the car. With fumbling hands I opened the pregnancy test and prayed a desperate prayer. The three minutes I had to wait until I could read the result stretched out in teasing torment.
I could almost hear the thump of my heart as I watched the pink line move slowly across the little windows. I could hardly believe it! Was I seeing things? I held the test up to the light. "Yes, I think there is a faint line emerging". My spirit soured. My whole being welled up and I cried tears of joy and relief.
I double-checked the test before leaving the bathroom and a now bright pink line greeted me. "Thank you, lord." I cried. I ran outside and fell to my knees, my arms raised to my Creator for this precious new life growing inside of me. My husband was as eager as I was for a new little baby and I could hardly wait until he got home from work to surprise him with the news. When I met him at the door with something hiding behind my back, he saw the joy in my eyes and gave me a knowing glance. He was over the moon and danced through the kitchen.
I was three months pregnant when I saw evidence of my deepest fear. I dropped straight to the floor, my mind flooding with prayers and stabbing fear. My husband knelt down beside me and we prayed to God to save our baby's life.
I stayed flat on my back for a week, praying and hoping that the bleeding would stop. It kept coming,and eventually so did our baby. "Oh my precious baby!" It felt like my worst nightmare and I wished I could wake up. I screamed until my voice was gone and cried even deeper within my soul.
I mourned for my baby, along with my husband. But deep down, even deeper than the pain and the loss, was a sturdy anchor of peace and rest. It took me by surprise! "How could I know peace right now?" In my darkest moment, when I held the form of my little baby in my hand, my God was there.
I felt Him more deeply than I ever had before. The world around me was cold and unfair, but beneath the despair, a warm current of peace flooded into my veins. It was the still small voice of my Father in heaven, comforting and soothing my taunted mind. I felt Him speak these words into my soul...
"I am your God. I am not cheating you out of your baby and your dream. I have plans for this precious child beyond this world that you can see. I blessed you to conceive this child so that it might exist and have a soul, but I want to take this one to be with me. Your precious baby was made for heaven and will not have to go through the trials of this world. Your baby is living its destiny, worshiping its Creator in heaven. It is in my arms.
Rest. Rest in Me. Rest in my divine plan. I have the best in mind. Your baby is not really dead, for Heaven is the true reality. Rejoice. your precious baby is alive. You will come and see for yourself one day."
As a little girl I remember being told that the Lord won't give you what you can't handle. I always thought that losing a baby would almost send me to the crazy bin, but God's word is true. He was there for me. He didn't sit back idle and watch from a distance. I know if God had a plan for my baby here on earth, a threatening miscarriage could not stop God from his plan.
My soul was at rest, but my empty aching womb still stung with the impact of the loss. No longer did a little life live and grow inside of me. Tears continue to flow at times but I know my baby is where God has chosen it to be.
The lies the devil loves to weave say, "Your baby is lost forever." or "Where is God? My baby is dead and there is no good reason why!" "It just happened because awful things can happen to anybody and life just chose me." "Maybe I did something wrong." "It must have been the water I was drinking."
The truth is, God cares more than anybody in the world, and you are his precious daughter. If you have suffered a similar loss, may you be comforted. God is Divine and in complete control. He knows what is best for you and your baby. Rest in this truth. The truth will set you free. It did for me.
I am writing this article only one month since the loss of my baby and I still cry. Even when the tears don't flow, my heart aches. I recently received a letter from a great friend who told me of the news of her pregnancy. I went on to read of her due date and all the pain came back with such an impact that it felt as though my heart stopped beating. The thought that my once anticipated due date would never arrive whipped my healing wounds.
I was unpacking some boxes at the time and the first thing I picked up after reading the letter was a picture I hadn't seen for a year. It was a picture of a baby being held by a figure that was shaded by a shadow. I could never tell who it was meant to be. Now, looking at it again, I was flooded with the realization that it was Jesus and He was holding my baby. I felt God reminding me again, "I have your baby in my arms." I couldn't think of a better place.
The sorrow left and I gazed at the picture again. The artist had drawn a golden light streaming onto the baby's face. My soul was quieted as God reassured me that my baby was made for Heaven.
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I really like the picture and kept it for the longest time. Thank God for scanner which I can now digitally keep it and best, to share it with you. :)
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.
“我是胖妞我怕谁？”
